The most important thing to me in the world:

my relationships.

{photo via a College Retreat I went on this fall}

I think people underestimate how important it is to tell the people you love exactly WHY you love them..

In a group of really great friends, there are strengths and weaknesses for every person. But THIS is what's so beautiful about a group of friends. Your strengths and weaknesses cover each others, and you become the best versions of yourselves, with the help of those who care about you most.

A Sense of Thanks.

the opportunities that have been given to me..

mum&dad: they save me in my darkest times.

my freedom; to sing, to dance, to paint.

Michelle: our relationship makes me feel ad for everyone else... because they don't have what we have, they don't have a true best friend.

RED VINES & ICE CREAM.

this blog: i'll be better i promise...

Today. Tomorrow. Yesterday. I thank God that he loves me so much; and has blessed me with an amazing life... that i often take for granted.

Love Today. Love Tomorrow. Everything will be okay.

B(eautiful)LACK FRIDAY.

The food. The relatives. The football... none of that has ever been my favorite on Thanksgiving.

my favorite part of Thanksgiving is the morning after... or Thanksgiving night. I guess it depends on how you look at it.

Many people call this day BLACK FRIDAY. However, there is nothing dark and black about this day. So many red tag specials, free coffee and donuts, angry customers and frustrated cashiers... i love it all. My family and I have been celebrating Black Friday for about 6 years now. We're pretty committed. This year was different tho... much different.

Here was the run down:

2am - alarm goes off

2:30am - arrive at Old Navy (v-neck and bootie galore)

2:35 am - leave ON, realizing that the wait in line is approximately 2hrs... yeaaaa...

2:40-3:00am- wait outside KOHLS with a bunch of grumpy, caffeine -deprived shopaholics.

3:30am - leave KOHLS, realizing that there clothes are cheap all the time anyway (soo why wait in line?)

4:00am-6:00am - spent at MACYS, JCPENNEY, and SPORTS AUTHORITY... spending money like CRAZY.

overall, i would say it was successful...

my favorite purchase of BF?

a set of stylish pink nerf guns.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Right?

Eat. Pray. Live.

My heart hurts today.

I watched Eat. Pray. Love. today with my mom and sister. And when I watched it, i realized how much i wanted to be like Julia Roberts...

..realizing that her whole life has been for someone else..

..realizing that she has either been in a relationship or breaking up with someone...

..realizing that she never had that "in between"...

..realizing that she has never truly been alone.

Since I was a freshman in high school, I have been chained to someone else. I was someone else's Kaitlin... never my own. I was Blake's, then Michael's. Never just Kaitlin.

"But you [Americans] don't know pleasure. You have to be told you've earned it. You see a commercial that says: 'It's Miller Time!' And you say, That's right, now I'm going to buy a six pack. And then drink the whole thing and wake up the next morning and you feel terrible. But an Italian doesn't need to be told. He walks by a sign that says: You deserve a break today. And he says, Yes, I know. "

I've earned pleasure. I deserve to be cared for and loved and to be selfish. I don't like the thought of it... which might actually be the problem...

*sigh*

"We call it "dolce far niente", the sweetness of doing nothing."

i think i might be starting my life today...

"Washed by the Water"

I'm a big fan of Caleb and Sol. This is a good indication of why...

death to black beauty

I realized a fear of mine this past week...

For a promo video for our church's high school group [in which I am a leader], we did a parody of the hilarious old spice commercials with the muscle man riding the horse... Our brilliant idea was to actually go a stable and film an actual horse to give that amazing effect. To my surprise... i am deathly afraid of horses. They are huge and unpredictable, and that scares me.

My two [apparently] memorable quotes concerning these little mini dinosaurs:

Number 1: "So, are horses like dogs? Like if I run away will they think we're playing a game and run after me?"

Number 2: "Do horses smell fear?"

It may seem funny that these were actual inquiries of mine... but I was serious. I didn't want any surprises. Now looking back, it is kind of comical... but at the time.. NOT funny.

All in all we made an AWESOME video, and the horse part looked great.

But I wont be doing that again.

"In period of rapid personal change we pass through life as if we are spellcast. We speak in sentences that end before finishing. We sleep heavily because we need to ask so many questions as we dream alone. We bump into others and feel bashful at recognizing souls so similar to ourselves."

douglas coupland of Shampoo Planet

"Ask not what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive... then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Brand New Eyes

[I love Hayley Williams]

aka the BA lead vocalist of the band "Paramore"

Totally unlike any other video Paramore has done. I'm so in love with the imagery and cinematography.

And the music itself. Love love love.

Why is it so hard for us to bury our castles? Our princess tendencies brought from our childhood?

"Go get your shovel, and we'll dig a deep hole..

And we'll bury the castle..."

I'm not a princess anymore. time to grow up.

beautiful.

Barista-customer conversations are never really anything to be remembered. It's usually conversations about the weather or recent local sport scandals [new basketball coach eh?]. Needless to say, I've never had significant encounters with customers as a barista that were worth blogging about... until today.

Gosh. Today if ANY day would have been an easy one to make weather-related-small-talk. On this day we had rain, storm, sun, and hail. Within 4 hours. Welcome to Oregon i guess. So I had a conversation starter ready for the next person to walk in the door.

It was an older couple [late 40's maybe?], they were both wearing sunglasses and the woman was wearing a wicker backpack like the ones they sell at the saturday market. so e.u.g.

This was how the convo went down:

Kaitlin: "So did you guys get a chance to be outside today? IT's been pretty crazy huh?"

[medium-length [yet still awkward] pause]

Man: What do you wanna be when you grow up? What are your goals?

[surprised pause]

Kaitlin: Oh, umm... well my major is education, because I hope to be a primary teacher, and i'm minoring in spanish because I hope to support native spanish speaking students in the U.S., and maybe go overseas and teach abroad... i don't really have a plan yet i guess. I just know i wanna teach kids.

Man: Hmm... well what do you believe in?

Kaitlin: Uh....... love i guess. I believe in loving and compassion and having belief in people. I believe in salvation and forgiveness. I believe in potential, for everyone and everything.

Man: What's your hardest inner obstacle you have to face in your life?

Kaitlin: Ummm.. [this one took more thought] i guess it would be judgement. i don't think i'd call myself a judgmental person, but i would definitely say i falter and i wish i wouldn't. So.. ya.

Man: So you believe in potential for everyone, but your biggest inner battle is judgement?

Alright... so at this point i think crap, this guys good. I was pretty proud of my response though.

Kaitlin: Well, ya i guess that's the whole point in believing in something isn't it? Something that you strive to achieve every single day... I mean I could say I believe in potential and equality, but if I don't strive to be better at it every single day, would that really be me practicing my faith? [i paused for a second, to rewind in my head and actually see if that made any sense at all]

then i continued...

"I'm not naive in saying that i am what i believe. I think this is

unrealistic, and not really a way to live. I want to believe in a

bigger part of myself. I want to believe in people that might never exist.

That way, i never stop growing. I never stop searching.

I never stop believing."

Man: "You are a beautiful person, Kaitlin."

HOLY CRAP! In no more than 2 minutes, a stranger helped me realize more about myself than anyone I know. I want this for myself. Not just today. But tomorrow, and the next day, and forever.

Let's all try this.

Let's shoot for the moon.